1. Check your pantry for pasta noodles. If you have none, you can stop at this step.
2. Check your fridge for pasta sauce. If you have none, you can stop at this step.
3. Dig through your cabinets and find a usable pan that looks relatively clean.
4. Boil some agua. Watch out for exploding pockets of air.
5. Break your noodles and throw those bitches in the pot!
6. Let it cook for about 12 minutes. Use the down time to broaden your horizons and do something productive. Or blog.
7. Drain the noodles, drench your bitches in pasta sauce, and go to town! No forks necessary.
I could defs write a Dr. Phil-esque How To Cook Pasta guide. My water is currently boiling over though, and it would not be optimal for water to spill onto my laptop.
Sayonara, fellow Cookers of Noodles.