03/02/13

If this is Christianity, this shallow filth of words and quotations and painted faces with little more expression that a starfish, if this is the epitome of God, then fuck God, because I am more divine than he is.

And if God looks at the gorged souls of men and desires to burn them for their hypocrisy and foul smell, let him burn me, too, so I may at least feel the flame of a God possessed by passion and fury.

I am not poison in this sanctuary infested with soul thieves
I glare past their smiles of religious charity
The well cannot be infected with unbelieving flesh
It is not I who contaminates your holy water

God watches me through his prison bars above the pulpit
I say not a word, and he smiles crooked
Halfway though hymn's freedom and grace notes
All shatters and burns, and One soul ascends home

Lying with brick and blood and no brother
I do not blame Him

I saw a meadowlark sipping on a bottle of ale

He staggered as he flew off to mate

I doubt his efforts were to any avail

Though he punctuated his flight

With proper swoops and dips

Of his rainbow wings

I've never seen a meadowlark in my life

You advance me
In years, god,
And I have never
Felt so young as I am
And you embrace me as such
While we conspire
To tempt each other's lust

Loneliness encounters loneliness
Dull silence ceases
But what can loneliness spawn
If not an ache for variant reliefs
Company and company
But loneliness does not know these
So it must hide again eventually
In the dull silence
Consuming agony

February 6

I have feverish doubts

That your sincerity is applied only

To our sexuality

I ruffle and paint my feathers

But my skin is still virgin 

To your touch

I become the goddess of words

To sooth your appetite

And I drown blissfully

In all your talk of beauty

Stand full

Until you leave me empty

Satisfied

Lusting only for your body

I dread the imminent despair

When I learn I've been dreaming

January 26

I want my fingers stained with my sin
My lips to carry my wicked soul
To live in the valley of the shadow of death
Your unfailing Love to know

I want my body to die
And die again
To rebel your purity
And seek out humanity
That I can know you love me

How far can my feet run
How long can my eyes see
Does the mind exist with the desire of a heart
Or will I die searching for freedom